Love: Beware Of The Myth Of The Perfect Couple!
Whether you're single or in a relationship, you may have the myth of the perfect couple deeply embedded in your mind. This fantasy is not only a model far from reality, but also an idea that is harmful to true love. We explain why you should beware of this unattainable ideal.
The perfect couple does not exist
When it comes to love, many of us have an image of the perfect couple, whose love would remain eternally passionate. We believe in this ideal all the more because it is constantly fueled by movies, books, TV shows and commercials.
But this perfect love that we are given as an example is in fact only a fantasy, very far from the reality of married life. In love as in other areas, we must be wary of the stereotypes that our society or culture imposes on us.
In real life, being in a couple is accepting differences, doubts, arguments and questioning. The 'perfect couple' as we imagine it does not exist and that's good!
Don't impose an unattainable model on yourself
Looking for the 'ideal' partner who checks all the boxes and/or striving to be the 'perfect' couple is not only a fantasy but also a pattern that can damage your relationship.
This myth of the perfect couple is an externally imposed injunction. It is a representation of the couple that society or our culture gives us as a model.
But of course, the singular relationship you will form with your partner will never completely match this ideal. That's why it's best to mourn this quest for perfection.
Rather than trying to resemble some model, it's better to accept that every couple is different and that your relationship will evolve with shared experiences and the passage of time.
Speaking of time, it's also worth noting that there is no secret formula for making a couple last. Some couples that last are very fusional and others are very independent... It is up to each couple to find the right measure to keep the flame alive.
Don't look for an instruction manual to succeed in your relationship
The myth of the perfect couple also implies that there is an instruction manual to follow in order to succeed in your relationship. But real life is not a fairy tale and you don't know in advance what your love story will be.
The passionate relationship at the beginning, when you fall in love, is bound to evolve over time. This first phase called idealization phase does not last more than two or three years.
It is when the early passion fades that true love begins. This phase of disillusionment can be scary, yet it is the phase that allows you to truly discover your partner and learn to deal with their flaws and complexity.
You'll need to get through this phase if your relationship is to last and remain fulfilled despite the trials and tribulations.
Accept the difference and improvise
As you can see, the myth of the ideal couple is not the example to follow for your relationship to last. This model of perfection that you can never match may even be damaging your relationship.
Rather than denigrate your own couple in comparison to this ideal, it's better to recognize the uniqueness and originality of the relationship you have...
For your relationship to last over time, it is best to :
- not to have too high expectations (your partner is not Prince Charming, he is a real person ;-))
- not to take your love for granted forever
- don't lock your partner in the image you have of him/her, but let him/her have the possibility to evolve, to do new things and to surprise you
- accept that you are two separate individuals, with differences
- accept that you never know in advance what will happen
In summary, a couple is not a perfect, fixed and unchanging entity, but rather a joint creation, which you build together.
Indeed, a couple constantly goes through stages in life, such as completing joint projects or having children, and at each stage, it rebuilds and renews itself.
Each one has a share of responsibility in the couple and it is necessary to move forward together, which does not prevent each spouse from cultivating his or her secret garden (personal interests, for example).
